anime_chick202's Xanga

Friday, June 19, 2009

Fri, 19 Jun 2009 17:04:55 GMT

I just got really upset and typed this to a friend on Facebook. Just felt like posting it here as we

Wed, 03 Dec 2008 05:17:00 GMT

arthur im so sad right now. like beyond sad. im so mad im sad. im sitting here at 12 am crying on my fucking desk. i feel like im about to barf and i havent eaten anything in 2 days. im sick, and i just feel like falling asleep and never waking up.
i dont wanna move to a new fucking house, its not fair. my fucking dad cheated on my mom 4 fucking times with four fucking women in 4 fucking year and my throat is so dry and i cant stop crying. i dont want to cry because its fucking weak and im not. i hate it. i do.
and when im upset i get mad. and i hurt people. and i hurt myself which is even worse than hurting other people. i kind of enjoy knowing u might never meet me. i can have this conversation with u, knowing u wont judge me, like my friends might. of course, they never say anything to your face but u know they're insulting u behind ur back.
im a positive person. i believe in all that positive energy bullshit. but its hard looking on the bright side of fucking hell. its difficult. i feel lost and confused. i dont know if its puberty or whatever i just want to break down.
and its fucking school to. i have to wake up and face the lowlife of a sad excuse of a shitfaced step-dad which he will never be referred to as ever again, then try to ignore the problem throughout skool. but then i have to go back. i hate it here. i wanna get up and run. just get the fuck away from here. but im a fucking baby, im scared, i dont know where i'd go. i'd be alone, no one could help me. but sometimes i feel like im better off alone, drown myself or something. rollover and die. but im scared.
i just want to get away, away from everything. and these next months are going to be painful in every way. i dont want to have to deal with my ex, whos fucking going out with all my fucking friends. and i just have to laugh and joke when im so angry on the inside. i want to kill him.
i want to kill all the little hookers who fucking stole him from me. skanks. i hate them all. i want to inflict so much fucking pain onto them. im physically fatigued and i dont feel like getting up in the morning. i cant stand it, its just not fair. bad shit happens to my mom all the fucking time and it affects me greatly. if my mom is bugged, so am i. if my mom cant sleep, neither can i. i hate knowing she has this crap to deal with at her age. its not fair to her.
and ive just had such low self esteem issues. again, i cant get a fucking decent boyfriend who then leaves me after NINE FUCKING DAYS and i have so many guys ive been falling for but they all just use the whole: thanks for being a great friend! its like, wtf, i fucking flirt and drop very obvious hints and yet u fucking call me a friend, wtf is wrong with u! AND ITS HAPPENED 6 TIMES ALREADY.
I DONT WANT TO BE A FUCKING FRIEND, I WANT SOMEONE WHO CAN FUCKING APPRECIATE ME FOR WHO I FUCKING AM! I DONT NEED TO GO ON FUCKING DATES, DONT FUCKING BUY ME SHIT I DONT NEED TO SHOW U FUCKING CARE! HELL, YOU DONT EVEN NEED TO TALK TO ME! all i ask, all i ask, is for someone who's there. who can just stand next to me and say: "im right behind you" and mean it. is it too much? is it? am i being selfish? i dont need commitment, we dont need to do anything. he doesnt even need to be loyal, hell, i dont care anymore! just there. someone who fucking accepts me as a fucking human being. someone who actually gives a damn when im about to flip. yknow?
i dont ask for much and i damn well very much appreciate the things i have. im a lucky person. yknow, i think my problem is overreation. and im sorry im sending u all this crap. u dont even have to read it or respond. just go ahead and delete it. its just so i can feel as if mabye someone in this world gives a damn.
i dunno, im just not feeling well, im so tired i cant fall asleep. and yeah, i dunno. just think im normally like this. im not this socially fucked over on a good day. im usually pretty normal in a non-normal way.
ok, i have to TRY to get some fucking sleep cause i have tours and i dont want to break down in front of 8th graders, thats tragic. i doubt ill actually fall asleep. dude, i dont think ive ever typed/written this much stuff since like, idk, issues with another boy in school who treated me like crap & shitt. w/e tho. again, just delete this. u wont gain anything from this.

Oh My God, Xanga Still Exsists?!

Tue, 28 Oct 2008 01:21:00 GMT

Haha, no seriously, I thought this site had already died off or something...

Oh wow, so much has happened since the last time I blogged. I've recently just entered my ripe years of High School and I'm enjoying every minute of it! It truly is the best 4 years of our lives! Haha, but everything has been going pretty smoothly. Ignoring the obvious bumps here and there, everythings been pretty great.

I recently got into a relationship with a really sweet kid who eventually dumped me since he liked me better as a friend which is okay, since we're back to being BFFLs nao, haha! :] I'm now in another very loving relationship with another boy who's even sweeter than the last! Seriously, I always fall for the bad boys or the good two shoes! x] I've also adapted my own smileys.

I feel so bad, not ever coming here. I forget how fun and relaxing it is to blog to no one in particular. It just makes stress ease away! Haha! :] If anyone who knew me back in the day see's this: HELLO! AND SORRY FOR ABANDONING YOU! I LOVE YOU ALL! Haha!! But yeah, all's been pretty good.

Ok, well, I'll give a more formal update tomorrow morning since I have plenty of time @ school to play on the computer! See ya! :]

:)

Thu, 24 Apr 2008 10:52:27 GMT

Hey ya'll. I haven't posted in a while. I'm currently in school since the morning is the only time I can blog crap without any interuptions. So yeah, lately things have been pretty annoying. Lots of my friends have been fighting with each other and then they come to me for help so I'm stuck in the middle which I totally HATE. I can't stand it at all because I don't know which side to stand on or who's lying and telling the truth. I hate it soooooo much!

Good news is: I GOT A DIGITAL CAMERA! OH EM GEE! I was so hyper when my mom let me buy it! I was jumping off the roof.....LITTERALY! 8D I'm so happy about that tho. I've uploaded pictures on Facebook and Deviantart. If you don't have my Deviant, I'm under animechick202, same thing as here, except without the "_". So yeah...Check me out there. I post a lot more there than I post here.

See ya on Deviant!!! <3

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Thu, 24 Apr 2008 10:45:19 GMT

ok....So my friend here's trying to make my xanga noticable...Thanks, I suppose?

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Sun, 16 Dec 2007 20:36:43 GMT

My last post was a while ago...Odd. Well, hellos everyone! Or no one...Ahaha, I think maybe two people read my webblog? I sorta killed my shrink so Xanga has come to the rescue! <inset Dora's 'We Did It!' victory song here>
Yesterday I hung out with Kuu and some of her firends. I met this girl, Sidney. She looked bitchy but she's hyper and sweet just like us. Well, some of us. Ahahah.
I'm still the bestest at DDR and FFR. (FFR is like, the online version of DDR. It's really fun and I'm awesome at it.)
Yeah, for X-mas, I'm gonna go to Orlandooooo! SCORE! I <3 Animal Kingdom...
I cannot wait for Anime Boston! OH NOEZ! ANIME IS NOT IN DEH DICTIONARY! *Le Gaspeth* Ahahahah, what everrrr. Anime is too cool to be in the dictionary.
I gotz fuzzy socks on right now.
:D
Yeah, nothing else to say........

Monday, October 08, 2007

Mon, 08 Oct 2007 04:11:08 GMT

Rawr.

I gotta pee!

....Ok, now that I got that all taken care of....

I now have red hair! Yes, I have tinted my old bleak brown hair into a nice bright loving color of red. I loves it.

Sqweee!~ Yush, that's all I have to say at the moment.

:3

Thursday, August 09, 2007

Thu, 09 Aug 2007 22:15:51 GMT

What's today? Tuseday? No, wait, THURSDAY! :3

Why am I so happy? Well, I'm not. I'm sickles. I went to the hospital. Guess what I've got?! CHICKEN POX! YAAAAY!

So, I'll send my virus via e-mail to you if you piss me off. I would send a normal PC virus but it's more fun to send the Chicken Pox virus. I will now call Chicken Pox CP, the oposite of PC.

Mai PC is BROKEN. It turns on then restarts. I remeber I did that to my Art teachers computer at school.....Twice.

Yes so, mai computer is down so I get to use my mothers labby to rant at yew. I'd give you my cell number to call me and complain/feel bad for my sickle-ness and/or my address to send me gifts/death threats/bombs but I think my mommy would get mad if there was a giant mob outside the door.

Soooooo yeah. What else to say? Dead PC. CPs. Yupp. That pretty much it. And that I kick ass in Soul Calibur II with Kilik. And you don't. So yupp.

SEEEE YAAAAAH!

White bras...

Mon, 06 Aug 2007 05:14:31 GMT

Are purtty. Yes, well, they ARE.

And I WAS wearing one too, buuuut I JUST took it off. I'm at Kuu's house, BTW. NOT NEKKED, MIND YEW!

So yeah, today we went to the beach. Me and mai luff got wet in the water and started to act Yuri-like so Momma spazzed out a bit...Yeeeah, freakazoid she is. So yeah, in the begining I refused to go but soon caved in since I had finished tanning for 40 minutes. I am DARK and I STILL remain dark. Go un-pale me!

Gah, well, we had fun. And now I'm ranting about nothing. Please check out my Deviant. I love random comments, no matter WHO you are. :3

I gotta go now. Allergies are making my right eye weird and I can't see out of it which sucks. Yeeeah. Bai.

Saturday, August 04, 2007

Sat, 04 Aug 2007 23:26:29 GMT

Whoo! Ranting time!

I <3 Yaoi.

More than life itself. For ever man that turns gay, I have a reason to live another year longer.

So far: 1

I'll uptade as soon as possible. I HAVE A DEVIANT + GAIA!

Deviant: anime_chick202

Gaia: The_Queen_Boo

>___< Meh. I feel crappy. Plus there's no one to talk to on AIM or MSN. :C

Gaaah. Mai feet are gross and yucky. I have new underwear. :D

I'm one of those 'Happy Emo's'. Aka: P.O.S.E.R. [Peice Of Shit Eats Rosters]. That's the best I can come up with. >___<

I'm now an uh-happy emo. D: What ever. I went to Salem, MA. Witch town. Really spooky and neat. Scary though.

My writing is spaced out way too much. It's because I change topics often. It like, all of my paragraphs are like, less than 3 sentences long.

...I say the word 'like' too often. Especially in school. We did a test in Spanish class and I said the world 'like' the most, and interrupted the most. Not my fault I have a lot of things to say! Especially in a foreign language. Which is super easy 'cause I speak Portuguese. Go happy emo me! :D

Yes well, nothing to rant about. Check out my Deviant. That's all. Bai bai!

:>